Toft, “need to approach porn the same way they approach any issue about their child’s sexuality. How you respond to the situation can have more of an effect than the exposure itself, according to Richard Toft, a child psychologist in Palo Alto, California. If possible, talk it over with the child’s other parent before confronting the child.ĭon’t overreact. Take a deep breath and spend some time thinking about the situation before you do anything. Whether the young person makes up images in his head, gets them from television shows, movies, magazines or images on the Internet, the process is much the same. Interest in sex and voyeuristic behavior to satisfy sexual urges are completely normal. Sometimes it’s curiosity, but in many cases - especially for males past puberty, it’s for stimulation at times when no one else is around. For some, it’s to be “cool.” There are reported cases of relatively young children using porn to impress their friends, much as kids sometimes smoke to show their independence. There are a number of reasons why kids look at pornography. Porn has been around for centuries and we’re far from the first generation of parents who have had to deal with it. We didn’t have the Internet when I was 14, but that didn’t stop kids from getting their hands on copies of Playboy. The question I want to explore is how a parent should react if they discover their growing child - typically 12 or older - is deliberately looking at sexually explicit material on the Internet.įirst, recognize that there’s nothing new about teens looking at such material. This column isn’t about young children or children who accidentally come across unwanted sexual material. Many children - especially post-pubescent boys - are interested in what we commonly call “porn.” You might not like the idea that some kids are looking at these images, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pretty common occurrence.

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